This is something completely random and what i think about on a daily basis. Welcome to my mind. Its a scary place, enter at your own risk.
may i present...
Prince Hans of the southern...
Delete this crap! CRAP DELETED!
MY TOP 10
THINGS I USE TO SCRATCH MY BACK
WHEN I CAN'T REACH
you guys this is my first world problem. sometimes my back just itches so bad its madness!
these things i have found to be highly effective and thought i'd share my amazing knowledge from my advanced scientific research.
1. fork-i think this is a given. just remember: don't put it back in the drawer.
2. butter knife- especially the ones that have really good teeth on them. moved side to side, not a sawing killer slasher move. no thanks.
3. pair of scissors- this one can be tricky but works wonders
4. screwdriver- i prefer the phillips head variety for this task, but im flexible.
5. brush- but don't use it if its got tons of hair still in it, kind of defeats the purpose and causes more itchiness. trust me on that one.
6. comb- same idea as the butter knife, but be careful of combs purchased from the dollar store, holy smokes some of those are like razor blades!
7. pencil or pen- i prefer a pen with a cap, the little clippy thing on it works pretty good. beware of using a newly sharpened pencil those tips can be temperamental and break and get stuck in your skin. ouchies
8. long nail file- just don't use it for too long, it'll file the skin right off your back.
9. barbie- if you get the hands positioned in just the right spot. perfection
10. clothes hanger- these can be awkward and sometimes difficult to use, but when you are in a time of turmoil, they can be just what you need.
That my friends is my expert, tried and tested, list of the top 10 things to use when you have an itch you can't scratch.
Please, feel free to share my wisdom with those who may be suffering.