The breakdown

The other day I found myself feeling just terrible.

This last year has been an emotional roller coaster. So many changes good and bad, so many emotions floating around.

It all came to a peak then came crashing down.

I found myself in the pantry picking out food to make for dinner and I was just a complete mess.  I just couldn't face anything or any one.  I didn't want to leave the room and go back to reality, I just wanted to stay in the pantry and be alone.

I've been able to keep my emotions in check but it was just all too much.  I'm really surprised I kept it together for so long.  I've been on the verge of collapse for quite some time now.

After a good 20 minutes of self loathing, I felt so much better.  Being able to get all my frustrations, sadness, and anger out was everything I needed and more to get through these last couple weeks before baby boy makes his appearance. And honestly it was so necessary for me, because I know if I still had everything bottled up I would not be able to make it through labor with all that extra weight on my shoulders.

Just so you all know, I'm human.  I can keep my emotions in check fairly well, but not the best thing sometimes for me, and I forget about that.  I need to embrace and let things go far more often than I do now.

I have so many more responsibilities right now in my life and if I'm going to be able to make it through adding one more thing (my sweet baby) in my life I'm really going to have to take a lot of mental health check ups.  A check up from the neck up.

Knowing that I have my husband next to me as my support system makes things so much better too.

Thanks for reading friends.

37 weeks and counting


The final countdown

Well we have just 4 weeks left people. 20 something days!

This time has finally arrived.  Its the most anticipated time around here cause that means i'm almost done. glory hallelujah!

Its been ridiculously warm outside so that just make things even more peachy.

So right now you can find me most days, sitting on the couch with a fan on me wearing as little as i can possibly get away with, while Camden yells at me for not getting up every time he needs something. I should really get the whole nesting things going but i hate the stairs and most things that need to be done are upstairs. I try to avoid going up and down the stairs as much as possible. Most days i go down in the morning and only got back up to go to bed.  I'm hoping i get an explosive burst of energy this time around and can just plow through things in a day or two. eh. we'll see.

I have so many other things i want to blog about, they are all stored up in my head but they can wait.  I'll probably post about valentines day in April so look for that! :)

Here i am 36 weeks of baby growing glory.

-peace, love, puppies & unicorns-

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