This last year has been an emotional roller coaster. So many changes good and bad, so many emotions floating around.
It all came to a peak then came crashing down.
I found myself in the pantry picking out food to make for dinner and I was just a complete mess. I just couldn't face anything or any one. I didn't want to leave the room and go back to reality, I just wanted to stay in the pantry and be alone.
I've been able to keep my emotions in check but it was just all too much. I'm really surprised I kept it together for so long. I've been on the verge of collapse for quite some time now.
After a good 20 minutes of self loathing, I felt so much better. Being able to get all my frustrations, sadness, and anger out was everything I needed and more to get through these last couple weeks before baby boy makes his appearance. And honestly it was so necessary for me, because I know if I still had everything bottled up I would not be able to make it through labor with all that extra weight on my shoulders.
Just so you all know, I'm human. I can keep my emotions in check fairly well, but not the best thing sometimes for me, and I forget about that. I need to embrace and let things go far more often than I do now.
I have so many more responsibilities right now in my life and if I'm going to be able to make it through adding one more thing (my sweet baby) in my life I'm really going to have to take a lot of mental health check ups. A check up from the neck up.
Knowing that I have my husband next to me as my support system makes things so much better too.
Thanks for reading friends.
37 weeks and counting