disappearing act

surprised to hear from me?

i'm surprised too.

i haven't been using the Internet very much this last couple of weeks to do social media things.  so i've been just in a slump in blogging.  i'm trying to focus more on the important things in my life. right now that is myself, my husband, and my children. everything else comes second.

i'm not going to promise anything like "i'll try my best to blog", "you'll be hearing from me soon" yeah, non of the nonsense. i'm trying to keep things real here peeps.

i deleted my facebook app from my phone and it was the best thing i could have done.  you don't realized how sucked in and trapped you are until it's gone. the constant attachment to your phone for what?? i wonder what so and so is doing? yeah not my thing anymore.  i'm kinda to the point now where i just going to delete the whole thing. i see no cons in getting rid of it.  it's a waste of a lot of precious time i have with my children.

the other day Evelyn was really hard to deal with she was acting out, hitting, screaming, and just being awful.  i was trying to figure out what her deal was, and what i could do to help her chill out.  bed time came and it was the same thing,  i ended up the laying down next to her holding her.  she immediately calmed down, and told me she wanted to me stay until she fell asleep. so i did. it didn't take long, but it was nice. she actually wanted me to be there with her. how much longer will she want this?

i realized i was the problem. i'm the reason she was acting this way. i wasn't giving her the attention she needed, and wanted. so she was trying to get it any other way.  i felt like a terrible mom, and in general just a terrible person.  why would i do this to my children? and for what??? nothing.

so i guess what i'm just trying to say is, i'm just doing my thing, you do your thing, and eventually i'll be getting around to blogging.  hopefully a good mom. i'm a momma in training right now, and it's about freaking time.